i'm not lost, just undiscovered.

This boy wants to play
There's no time left today
It's a shame coz he has to go home
This boy's got to work, got to sweat
Just to pay what he gets to get left all alone

Let's step outside
Let's go for a ride just for a while
No we won't get caught
Well that's what I thought until we cried

I'm still here
But it hasn't been easy
I'm sure
That you had your reasons
I'm scared
Of all this emotion
For years I've been holding it down

This girl tries her best every day
But it's all gone to waste
Cause there's no one around
This girl she can draw she can paint
Likes to dance she can skate
Now she don't make a sound

We'll play in the park till it's too dark for us to see
Well we'll make our way home
With mud on our clothes
She won't be pleased

I'm still here
But it hasn't been easy
I'm sure
That you had your reasons
I'm scared
Of all this emotion
For years I've been holding it down

And I'd love to forgive and forget
So I'll try to put all this behind us
Just know that my arms are wide open
The older I get the more than I know
Well it's time to let this go

I got to let it go.

i was looking through past photos and i realised so much have changed. And it's only been a year. Imagine 10 years.

I kinda miss the past. The people then. Funny how things change with the snap of the finger. Everyone seems to be busy now. There's always something else, somebody else. It doesn't feel right.

But who cares right? like i've said previously, nothing matters. i, don't matter.

.

Maybe i'm just someone very forgettable.  i'm not going to bother, cause it doesn’t matter. Corrections. I, don’t matter.

i got so tired. i'm giving up.

Monday - Gossip Girl Season 2
Tuesday - House MD Season 5, 90210, Private Practice Season 2
Wednesday - America's next top model Cycle 11
Thursday - Grey's Anatomy Season 5
Friday - Ghost Whisperer Season 4

With so many shows to watch, i doubt i'm gonna step out of the house anytime soon.

Thank god for TV:)

So after the previous post, the one where i complained about my grandma waking me up for her lost dentures, things got pretty out of hand.

It felt like some channel 55 drama.

2 days after the i-lost-my-dentures-and-i-blame-my-grandchild-for-taking-it-incident, she woke the whole family up at 530am in the morning.Claiming that she lost her wallet. I slept at 2am so i didnt get much sleep since she was making so much noise from 3am.

At 530am, it was IT. She banged on my mum's door so hard till one of the magnets dropped and broke. So loud, i had to get out of bed. She went on about the usual stuff like how her wallet and dentures can 'disappear' just like that and something about a hantu in her room. She screamed, shout, cried and all.

Mum told me to pack my bag and go to my aunt's house to stay. Cause grandma's crazy and she might target me after mum leaves for work. So i left home at 540am for my aunt's house. Thank god my aunt wakes up early to go to the market.

Later that day, she went downstairs and cried to others about how we tortured her and all so the aunts sent her to the hospital to see the doctor about her mental problem. Ended up paying to see the doctor who gave her no meds.

Worst, when she reached home, my aunt found a knife near her bed. Grandma claim that she's gonna kill my mum if my mum scolds her again. CRAZY OLD WOMAN. Thank god my aunt found it.

She should be sent to the mental hospital. But we are moving anyways. And probably gonna send her to some care center which specialise in taking care of mental patients.

she still made noise about losing her wallet (again) this morning. Nobody really bothers about that.

So we are gonna move out in another 4-6 months in suppose. To the tampines house. Selling the house here and buy/rent a smaller house for grams to live by herself.

Funny how much things can change over 3 days.

Am talking to alex over msn now. It's like friday over in the US. She's living the american dream. With e-entertainment right at her doorstep. Plus she's gonna move in to her house next week. How cool is that? Living with others from her uni.

By the time she comes back for christmas, she can come my new house to visit me. the new place is closer to her's now.

Penny pride. I miss floats.

i love jason mraz!!!

his new album is speechlessly goood!


there are others, ask me if you want the whole album,

MFG is such a bore. BUT, for my grades i will TRY to concentrate as much as i can. though i'm not doing that now.

Throughout the week, it's has always been home, school, driving, grace and a little fyp. It's pretty cool like that. No meetings to rush to, no staying back late in school. I like it.

it's gonna get better. trust me

.

i have eyes to see,
ears to hear,
feelings to feel,
and emotions to express.

If only i could speak my mind freely without hurting anyone
If only i ain't that sensitive
If only i could ignore and pretend everything's fine
Fact is, i cant.

Right now, i very much want to
be blind,
be deaf,
be emotions-less
so i wouldn't feel anything


No doubt, i came out with "talk is free". But now i begin to wonder. It isn't really that free. It comes with a price.

Words can build or break someone.
I think it's breaking.

Mum went to A&E today with complains of abdominal pain. She got a 2 day MC and the doctor gave her a referral letter to KK if she encounters anymore pain.

I dont know. There's alot of thoughts running through my head. I think i'm being oversensitive. Or maybe there's really something going on. I dont know.

Would you like to tell me why?




That familiar feeling's coming back.
Please dont.

I want to complain about how much class sucked today. But decided against it. It'll probably make the entry soooo bloody boring.

i'm just feeling very bored because class ended at 2.45pm and i have to wait till 4.15pm for UT.

Cold as you is on repeat. Nice song eh?

`oh wad a shame wad a raining evening given to a perfect day.`

i have alot of thoughts. But i cant seem to put them down to words. Funny thing how much this little mind of mine can contain.

I think i'm becoming smarter. Or maybe not. Just that everyone's IQ dropped tremendously in a day.

I shall not go on. Everything's is so out of place and i dont have an idea of what i'm typing.

Yesterday morning, was the 1st time i saw my mother cry. Mother has NEVER cried in front of me or probably anyone i've known. She said you only cry when someone dies.

But she cried. I teared, because i saw how hurt she was.

Grandma created a huge hooha in the wee hours of the morning. Causing all of us to wake up. She started slamming her door at aroundd 3am. We only decided to get up at 4 to check things out.

Mother confronted her and asked whats her problem. She started shouting at my mom and accused us of stealing her money and a whole lot of other things. Mother told her, that she doesn't remember that she is her daughter and that she is worst off than a maid. In the fit of anger, grandma said "you are no daughter of mine!!". I guess that really really hurt my mom. A lot.

After all those things that my mum has done for her, things she has sacrifice without complaining, she said it. That my mom is no daughter of her. That is really unfair.

So i called my uncle to come down to settle her. And we decided to leave her alone. Time after time we worry that she might not be able to take care of herself, but now, she really pushed us to the limit. And we will leave her alone. For good. If she wants to die, faint, wadever. Nobody is gonna bother about her. She asked for it, she deserves it.

One day, we will move out. And never turn back

WHY IS EVERYONE SO CHEENAFIED???????

Oh, It would be nice not hearing your voice for awhile. So shut up.

i dont like my marketing class. Not a single bit.

I have a thinker, a non-thinker, act thinker and a retard who cannot shut his mouth all in my team.

It's only the second week and i'm getting irritated and pissed off.

IT'S JUST ANOTHER 14 WEEKS JASLIN. 14 WEEKS. KEEP YOUR COOL. YOU'll BE FINE.

Lets just face it.

Things change, people change. And most of them cant be changed back.

We mix with different people, we get influenced by our surroundings. And we cant do anything about it. Not like we can make a time machine and change everything back. We can only reminisce and be grateful that it all happened.

But sometimes, it's kind of a pity isnt it?